Our parents have been trying to do the same and so have our grandparents, there is always a certain standard set, a goal marked in every aspect of one,s life and it is always been a journey of living up to that standard. And the standards are pretty hard set, for example, there can be only one class topper, and the rest of the herd always fits into other categories laid out and constantly strives to be just the topper, cause the topper gets all the attention, love, visibility and limelight craved by everyone else. The class topper's life might seem fancy to others but he would be fighting an inner battle of being what he desires to be but again trying hard to be the definition of the topper or the idealistic one. So in the process each one thinking or looking at the outer image of the other one s life always feels less of himself. Sometimes this feeling is so overlooked that unless a major event sets into the individual s reality this feeling of lack of self does not show up evidently. This includes feeling a lack of self, self-harm, self-sabotage, lack of direction, disinterest, loss of identity, a feeling of not being enough, lack of self-acceptance, suppression, introversion, depression, suicidal thoughts and more. Why does one feel these thoughts in the first place? Lets say a child in the very early age being the youngest one was always compared to and judged based upon the older childs behaviourial traits and so called achievements, The voice of the parents which is always the inner voice of any child starts becoming the judemantal personality for any actions, very simply said no two people are alike and it turns out that the child being young and new to the world is full of love and is trying to fit into the family of three and already starts feeling alienated because of a pre set standard the family functions with, The child strives hard to understand why he cant play with the kitchen utensils, how is sitting down to play with the toys different from eating mud and so on, this child who is pure innocence and acceptance sees everything that he comes across as pure as he tends to be without any preset programs like judgements and diffrentiations he also slowly learns that there needs to be a certain operational method to avoid being punished, scolded, teased, alienated, beaten or even be just accepted. He creates the benchmark to be the older child who is like the class topper struggling with their journey of overperformance and living up to being the benchmark creator. No matter how hard he tries by experimenting with various ways to seek the attention of his parents or to be accepted and loved, he still keeps finding someone else to be better than him, the inner child is not understood that he cants satisfy the lack of self that the parents are reflecting upon him and keeps on trying throughout his life. And eventually tends to be an introvert maybe suppressing through addiction to food, smoking, drugs etc. But again the inner conflict of not being able to see that he was perfect the way he was tends to cause more and more confusion, and when this confusion becomes these inner personalities that have grown over the years it tends to end up in consequences of depression and self-damage. The love energy tends to take the individual through the acceptance of the environment, and acceptance of self and finally shows how it feels like to love oneself unconditionally and creates the identity of self based on love shedding all the layers of judgments and not being enough.
